The hoop-snake, presumably a close relative of the equally terrifying hula-hooper.

On a scale of 1-10 how Goth Are You? vs. Anarchism

Upon dragging my muddy Blundstones to the library this morning to research volcanic ash scones + blackberry bat jam for my best friends freaky 13th, I stumbled across a Gothic Marxist convention. After being stopped and quarantined, and getting the finer details on how waterproof the Goths docs were- the Goth then popped the Question- "SO, HOW GOTH ARE YA"? "R U FAR-LEFT-GOTH"? This got me thinking- what's the furthermost you can go? After 14 bloody-eyeball Martini’s, I consulted my m8 not_mastercief,  and he reckons that the answer is simple: Anarchy and writing anarchy novellas'- this involves writing collective annotations on the ‘Theory of the Young-Goth'. So brb I’m in the library, as usual.

Tomorrow I shall demonstrate how to cook with the most Gothic produce of the season- Guest Starring my off again, on again, off again acquaintance & fruit-rooter Kim – he’s a chain smoking pomegranate dealer.

to commemorate the 2015 AFL footy season - this is a pic of me with my fairtrade kangaroo laced footy. can't wait to catch a game with mgoth & xannie - i don't actually follow one particular team i just go along to check out all the gothic WAGS and see who's workn the merch tent.


i don't look very goth here (fantasy/norm-core stage)

How to O.T a successful goth online AKA manslaughter.

Over the past 2.7 years I’d estimate non-accurately that phones, and iPhones and instagram usually, has become an easy podium to invigorate your bank account and commercialise your hardware. Some hints on becoming a successful goth blogger are:

·      Make sure you unfollow at least 3 non-goths per hour

·      If nobody has bid on your tormented platform rompers in 2 hours it most likely means that u aren’t the hottest in-the-minute goth anymore and your hardware is too softcore- you should change your URL. Some examples are: chickentwisties/meowmeow2009/exercisefreak/mega_quinessential/abstract_&_ephemeral. etc.

·      If u ever have any money don’t ever spend it at another popular goths boutique- especially the online ones- it only means you’re endorsing them and they h8 u neway.

·      Go everywhere on earth to holiday except where all the common goths go- go to Ballarat- go to Colac- go to Cairns and specifically Rundell mall in Adelaide- there’s a huge goth movement underneath the 3rd fire exit.

Lucreative & gothic: the only way 2 b

·      Up size your usual maccas drive thru order and blog it- Say fuck it ‘I don’t pay extra for chicken   mayo – they know me’ – you’re an o.g donnie mallrat. 

·      Always and I mean ALWAYS go through deserted suit and tail coat pockets.

·      Check the drive thru at maccas 4 coins- usually rich goths w lexus’s don’t care 4 spare dropped gold.

·      Never blog about anything that could potentially blow up your goth spot- don’t disclose the local army disposal sale online and don’t ever give a starting out goth a shout out.

Next week- gothic poetry from Tolstoy and ancient feminism by matthew ware- + new latin emojies 

I’m living in my new art grime shed with two other Chihuahua’s- a certain RHOM wouldn't dub it nouveau riche- one collects uncommon non-native fruit trees, backs up the bomb and flogs them off to young inspired goths looking for minimalist/ripe ambiance for their own sheds- whilst the other broadcasts instrumental trap/untried rave from his bedroom floor. I haven’t worked out how to take the bins out yet but stay fine-tuned.  area code: 3056 if interested- check it out/paige elise me.

Halfway between downloading Netflix (aus) and playing level 7 chess on my Panasonic 0.4 - I stumbled across an envelope marked ‘coob’ to which when I opened had 50 bux inside with a special side note that spoke: “from Coachella to Coles Barkly square- Laney 4 u- love Tyson” I felt both enthused and sick, but glad it wasn’t a Goth from savers pay cheque, just Tyson checking in telephonically from L.A.

this is a srs tbt 2 when me, m rub+ Rapunzel (pre baby goth) made it to the moon before the americans. i deleted the last 11 years of my previous goth blog- hello- stay tuned and in fashion. x xx x postscript- all above clothing supplied by melly grubs grandma and is luxurious faux glam -candy/metal. happy cherry rock/iphone 6.5 anniversary -

Ive just disembarked off my turquoise appolo from the weekly annual coob extravaganza- it’s common knowledge now, that access to a keyboard and public wifi grants u the privilege to cover charge your cemented event-so me and xannie danny jived down under only to swap a red headed step child three shillings and a bike light for four star entry to the dumpster cave- upon arrival I glimpsed various internet coobs and loungeroom retirees- I did a lap and xannie checked the surrounding d floor perimeter for pressed abandoned and unintentionally dropped uppers- there were ethical AKA ozone layer free exorbitant mocktails and a zillion doors that were locked because even being a famous keyboarder doesn’t grant u the luxury to a dunnie. So xannie and I busted out and split and now im in my room deciding what type of drake fan I am. facsimile me before 9 am to win a breakfast out w me and my pet Chihuahua- criteria: screen grabs of ur photocopied tramp stampps.
Goodnight